Divorce for children can often be like death to an adult – a process of grieving and acceptance for the new changes that are occurring whether you like them or not. Children will grieve for the loss of the family life when their parent’s divorce, as they have, most probably, never known any difference.
Children may miss the stability of their former family life, or simply that fact that they could wake up in the morning and see both parents as and when they wished. In this respect, family life was on their terms and not the adults. When a childs parents divorce, the times in which they can see the other parent shall be dictated by those parents, and the child shall noticed the missing privileges they once shared with each parent.
Once reality has set in, sadness or anger shall become apparent in the child. A child will literally pass through a mourning process, with moody behaviour and irregular eating, but this shall ease with time. Sometimes a child will become angry but only with themselves as they begin to blame themself for the impending or recent divorce. On occasion, the child may even become inverted socially until the reality of the situation and changes hiProvided the child is explained to and assured they should feel more comfortable in their own skin. Many children get teased at school when their part home.
It is common for children to begin a strategy to reunite their parents, for example, they may plead or help out around the home by doing lots of chores etc because they do not understand why their parents are no longer happy with each other. They believe that if they can fix it, everything shall return to the way in which it was before the separation and/or divorce occurred.
Many of the issues the child may need to deal with may be reduced by the method in which the parents use to inform the child of their impending divorce. Children have very simplistic logic and will need to be explained to in great depth that they are not losing a parent, both are still there, but just not together. Provided the child is explained to and assured they should feel more comfortable in their own skin. Many children get teased at school when their parents divorce. Children do not understand the impact this has on the child in question and so it is advisable for parent s who are divorcing to inform teachers to ensure everyone who has contact with that child is aware of the situation.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Divorce and Children Effects
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